Things that Take on a Different Meaning Once You Have Kids

I was thinking about how much my life has changed since having kids. Even conversations and phrases have taken on different meanings since becoming "mommy". For instance..

Wet T-Shirt Contest
Before children: Usually beautiful, scantily clad women being hosed down as people cheer
As a mommy: the wet spots your boobs make when you've skipped a feeding, or after a feeding when the baby spits up on you.

Power Struggle
Before Children: Sometimes made in business while attempting to take over the competitor
As a mommy: the fights while trying to get your toddler to sleep, eat, or use the big boy potty in a vain attempt to prevent accidents.

Accidents
Before children: it usually involves a motor vehicle
As a mommy: a puddle of pee on the floor or even better, poop in the bed of a potty training two and a half year old.

Foreplay
Before children:the prelude to lovemaking.
As a mommy: four family members playing Chutes and Ladders.

Pain
Before children: a paper cut
As a mommy: labor and delivery after the epidural wore off

Love
Before children: used to describe everything from your husband the cup of coffee you just had
As a mommy: the word used exclusively to describe everything about your children (and only your children)

As Far as Moms Go, Mine is Pretty Cool

For as long as I can remember, my mom was always the "Cool Mom". She was the one person in the room who could walk among strangers and walk out with friends.

I yearned to be like her, to be confident in myself no matter what. I didn't succeed in high school, where I longed to stay blended into the walls to avoid detection. I never saw my mom without her self-assurance.

Not to say we didn't have our arguments or fights. My teenage years with her were mostly locking horns and trying to pin each other down to be the dominant one, but after I got married, she and I became more like friends. She told me she had always wanted our relationship to be that of friends, but growing up I needed a parent more than I needed a friend. So once she was sure she had done her job of raising me, she became my friend. She gave me marriage advice, friend advice, work advice. We can joke around together, like in the above picture. (The one in the purple is my sister Kelie, and the one holding the toy guitar is my mom...I'm the one in the glasses.)

But even in high school, between the fights and screaming matches, I realized she WAS pretty cool. She never tried to be cool, like most parents did. She was just her usual, chatty, friendly self. She knew the latest dirty jokes, had stories from her bowling trips, and we just enjoyed hanging out, whether at home or at the mall. I was never ashamed she was my mom. I didn't care who knew it. She was the greatest. She overcame so much, and turned into a strong, wonderful woman.

Even now, I know I can always turn to her for parenting advice, and she's always done really well with not overstepping my rules or boundries. She's turned into the world's greatest grandma, but I'll be honest...I'm always worried I won't be as good a mother as she was and is.

But beware....what happens at grandma's...stays at grandma's. :)