Be Safe...Sleep with a Fireman :)

My husband wasn't always a firefighter. In fact, when we first started dating, he was just a farmer with a side job as a farmhand.

But one day shortly after we got engaged, he told me he was planning on joining the township's volunteer fire department. "My brother's been on for a few years, and he could get me on the department without any problems." I thought he was joking; who would run into a burning building for free?

Apparently, my husband.

After all we had been through, he decided to join. I was okay with it at first; but after his first run, I knew I'd be changed for life, whether it be good or bad. The tones dropped in the middle of the night. I was half asleep, groggy and confused. It didn't sound like a smoke alarm. When I felt my husband roll out of bed and put on his shoes, it dawned on me, and my heart matched the tones, dropping into my stomach. It was a 10-70 field, a grass fire, he told me, and kissed me and told me to go back to sleep. At that point, I couldn't go to sleep. My adrenaline was pumping, and I was freaking out that he'd be hurt.

Three hours later, he came home, exhausted and smelling like sweat and smoke. He rolled into bed, and despite the odor, I rolled right next to him, wrapped my arms around him, and begged him never to go again. He patted my hand like a parent would a child and told me it was alright; I could go to sleep. I slept fitfully.

Six years later, my heart still skips a beat when the tones drop. I've memorized the codes, and I've memorized the numbers for all the guys. My husband is 932. So when I'm listening to the scanner during a late night breastfeeding session, I can keep track of my husband. As long as I hear him say something over the scanner occasionally, I can breathe a sigh of relief. But I still fear the day I hear something over the scanner that lets on my husband is in trouble. That's why every time he gets toned out and rolls out of bed or gets off the couch to leave, he tells me he loves me, and I tell him to love me enough to come home safe. It's been condensed over time to "Love me enough" and he knows. His brother, my brother-in-law and another brother to me, is also on the department and always his partner going into a burning structure, so I know he's in good hands.

Over the years, I've come to realize that in his own special way, my husband is a hero. He may not have gone overseas to fight the war on terror, but he's been the first face a person sees after a car wreck; he's been a saver of priceless memories from a fire; and he's been a protector for small children watching their house, their bedroom and their toys go up in flames. And if that isn't a hero, I don't know what is.