Sunday, March 29, 2009

Things that Take on a Different Meaning Once You Have Kids

I was thinking about how much my life has changed since having kids. Even conversations and phrases have taken on different meanings since becoming "mommy". For instance..

Wet T-Shirt Contest
Before children: Usually beautiful, scantily clad women being hosed down as people cheer
As a mommy: the wet spots your boobs make when you've skipped a feeding, or after a feeding when the baby spits up on you.

Power Struggle
Before Children: Sometimes made in business while attempting to take over the competitor
As a mommy: the fights while trying to get your toddler to sleep, eat, or use the big boy potty in a vain attempt to prevent accidents.

Accidents
Before children: it usually involves a motor vehicle
As a mommy: a puddle of pee on the floor or even better, poop in the bed of a potty training two and a half year old.

Foreplay
Before children:the prelude to lovemaking.
As a mommy: four family members playing Chutes and Ladders.

Pain
Before children: a paper cut
As a mommy: labor and delivery after the epidural wore off

Love
Before children: used to describe everything from your husband the cup of coffee you just had
As a mommy: the word used exclusively to describe everything about your children (and only your children)

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